When Harry met Katniss

(Disclamer: If you haven't read the Hunger Games, Harry Potter, or either, then this story will both confuse you, and spoil the books. But read it anyway =)

    Well, as you know, Katniss is the heroine of the Hunger Games, and Harry Potter? Well, he has a whole series named after  him. But did you know the story of when Harry met Katniss? Oh, yes! I have it good authority that Harry and Katniss have secretly been meeting!  Would you like to know what they talked about?

  It turns out that Harry wasn't to happy about Katniss stealing all his fans. No, Harry was quite distressed, I'm afraid. So, Harry called Katniss. Well techincally, he didn't call her, he sent her an Instant Message on Facbeook. It was not easy finding her, especially since she's been hiding with that other slick talking boy, Peeta (actually, his name was originally spelled "Peta," but it turns out that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PeTA) refused permission to use their name, and "Pita Bread" threatened to sue.

   Anyway, sure enough, Harry found Katniss, and asked her for a meeting. It is not known the precise location where they met, although it has been suggested by Rashi (who isn't THE Rashi, rather, Rashi McDonald, my informant on 54th Street),  that they ate lunch at the Taco Barn (Harry paid).  Harry told Katniss that he didn't think it was very nice of her to steal all his fans, especially since he was losing money. After all, Harry just bought a Tudor in South London where he now lives, has another kid on the way, and is still making payments to his Bentley, which is several thousand pounds (aside from weight, its also very expensive).

  At first, Katniss protested, pointing her bow and arrow at Harry. In turn, Harry held up his wand, at which point they heard a yell: "hey, not in my shop!"  It came from Rod (short for Rodriguez) the manager of the Taco Barn. He told them that he was sure that the two could settle this like mature adults. This of course was impossible, since everyone knows both Harry and Katniss are under 21.

  Still, they agreed to put their weapons away, and settle the dispute amicably. After several hours of moaning, and screaming (and also after some deep discussion and debate about the dispute), the two of them agreed to keep off of each others turf. Katniss agreed to not shoot an arrow through Harry's Taco, if Harry would confine his book and movie promotions to the United Kingdom. In turn, Harry agreed not to turn Katniss into a muggle blooded Toad, if she would never leave Panem again, and only grant TV interviews with MSNBC (after all, Harry figured, Fox owns Sky News in England, and nobody watches MSNBC anyway).  They shook hands, and went their separate ways.

This of course, does not explain why 9 months later, Katnisses's baby, was born with a lighting scar and black, round rimmed glasses, but that's another story for another day...